Friday, May 9, 2014

The 'I am Me' Rant...

This may offend you, make you angry or sad... I don't know. But I do not believe that society will ever treat two human beings equally; something or the other will be found that will be used to discriminate, control and discourage. Gender, race, caste, money are just tools used for these. If these diffrentiations cease to exist, new ones will be found. I write this as a woman...albeit privileged and fortunate enough to be born in a particular kind of a family...

I am me
The whole me
Each part of me is mine
Mine alone to dine, wine
and bed
No God, no devil
I am just me

I am me
The fat on my belly is me
The scar on my nose is me
That bald head of a year back is me
The tears in my eye, the loud laugh is me
I change as you do change,
With time, But I will not be the bird in a cage

I don't care if they care for me
But control you can't me
I don't care if 'they' are 'bad'
But I will do what is 'bad'
Oh! the dress I wear is to low or short or tight
But for that right, I will put up a fight

I am me
Each part of me is mine
Mine alone to dine, wine
and bed
No God, no devil
I am just me

I don't care what 'they' say
Come what the hell may
I will be me
I will be me

This post has also been published at Mission Sharing Knowledge

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Travelling Alone...

How open are you to a job that would involve travel?

If someone would have asked me this question about a year back I would jump and say "I would love a job that has a lot of travelling!!" Well if someone asks me that now, I would take a moment, lean back and ask, "Now what kind of travelling are we talking about?"How, how often and where?"

In a month, 15-20 days are spent travelling on an average in my current job. And mind you, this is not the flight hopping, AC taxis kind of travel. This is the very down to earth, state transport bus, shared overloaded taxi/auto  kind of travel. The nearest railway station is more than 50 kms away from the village where I work, thus it is easier and more convenient to hope on to a bus directly to my destination. The whimsical, ever changing schedules of the Maharashtra State Transport buses are now routine to me. Sometimes an equal or even more amount of time is spent waiting for the the bus, than it takes to actually reach from point A to B. The travel kit is always ready; a bottle of water, Britannia Marie biscuits and toothbrush (in case I need to stay the night!). Thus you can say it has become a way of life, you may say.

While travelling in these areas, one of the main issues faced is the availability of toilets. Sure, every major bus stand a 'toilet' but beware of the condition that it might be in. And that is a really sad truth. Even in major cities like Pune, one can only lament at the condition of the public toilet in the bus stand. A safe,clean and functional public toilet in these areas is still a luxury that very few places offer. It is hardly a wonder where the officially the coverage of toilets is about 40-60% and we all know how authentic these figures are! Thus when the journey is about 4-5 hours long and you know there are no toilets, the only thing you can do is restrict intake of fluids or water. But this is also not possible during hot summer days...

Well that seems to be a question that does not have a solution that I can offer.. another issue is that of safety. Due to the whimsical timing of the State transport buses, it becomes important to plan my visits to the villages and the travel in such a way that I am back home or at the place am staying before its late night. When I had to travel after nine thirty due to lack of buses earlier, I found myself to be almost alone in a bus full of men. If am lucky, there would be a woman or two, but that would be rare exception. It is not that any untoward incident happened to me during these occasions but it goes without saying how vulnerable I felt during the whole journey, with lewd stares from some men, some questioning stares and more. A single woman traveling at that hour is not acceptable in these areas.

But then work is work and I have to do it. Thus the travels continue....

This post has been published at also....

Friday, January 3, 2014

The Lost Thoughts

They are not lost
At most,
Ignored and set aside
To be explored
They await, inside
The depths of my minds

The most faithful of companions
I have suppressed them
For I thought, they are minions
Causing chaos within
But they are me

They are my voices
Guiding me and my need
Not to ignore and set aside
To understand and heed
To realize that inside, within
Me is my God

These lost thoughts I collect
Hold dear to me
Sometime share with those I
Hold dear to me

Thursday, August 8, 2013

I could only stare...

I wanted to know
To ask, to listen
Her eyes
Captured my eyes
Far away they stare

She looks at me
Through me
I can only stare
Silently at her face
Her rusty brown hair,
The colour of her skin.
Is there
No hope that I see
In her eyes

Her chest
Bears the burden
Of her matrimony
Still growing
Seven months protruding
Her belly
Third one, she says grimly
I can only stare
Silently at her face

Then she smiles
Despite her misery
Her pain of
Searching, hoping
(For a better life?)
Her smile took away
The sorrow of her stare
Even then
I could only stare
Silently at her face

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The tree that you see....

The tree had been there,
Before you were there
Sprung from the cradle of life
From the lap of the Mother
It used to be a joy to the eye
Oh My!
The tender little green thing
As it first opened its leaves to the world

The tree had been there
Before you were there
Green little limbs,
Branches if u say
Oh My!
The excitement rose in its soul
As it learned to grow in this world

The tree had been there
Before you were there
Then, there were the first flowers
Birds making love, the first fruits,
With love from the roots,
Oh My!
The tenderness filled it with a green glow
As it felt fulfilled in this world

The tree had been there
Before you were there
Then it was not this dry
Then it was full of hope and giver of life
Seeing all the strife
Oh My!
It has almost given up hope, with the last
Leaf on its branch shriveling and falling

The tree can die a death of
Oblivion in the world full of fear and distress
If you give it the elixir of love and tenderness,
Show it that it has been here, before you were here
It has been a savior
The tree had been there
Before you were there
And it will be there
After you are gone...

Image credits : (

Saturday, March 30, 2013


Restless I have been for sometime now,
Restless I will be, until
In Your arms, I know I will find peace
You may ignore me,
Slight me or hurt me,
But I know You care,
I know I may scare
But it is just my Love
I know not how to share
I myself am scared
You are rare, so gentle but indifferent
And precious to me...
And I know You care,

Restless I have been for sometime now,
Restless I will be, until

In Your arms, I know I will find peace right now

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Courage in a woman is often mistaken as insanity

Someone recently told me that I am too independent(which is a bad thing.) ... I do not understand that.. too independent in relation to what and who? I believe that I need emotional dependence... and i crave and search for that... fearless.. even that is a misnomer... all of us have fears .. some of then which we are unaware of... i treasure that fact that I am a woman... and my expressions reflect that. Ii is tough being 'seen' as a misfit as a black sheep... and sometimes you start 'feeling' that you are.. Courage is about facing your fears, challenging your inhibitions and I believe that is what is required...